Reality TV Could Really Use Some Deoderant

There seems to be a new trend turning up on the Slice channel here in Canada – turning reality shows about wedding planning into competitions and stress factories.  Now granted their programming has never been a bastion of Harvard-inspired lessons, but it really bothers me when shows deliberately set people up to be highly stressed and bring out their worst behavior.  Case in point, two new shows – Rich Groom, Poor Groom and In-Law Wedding Wars.

First, Rich Groom.  This show twists the traditional wedding planning process by giving a couple a $5,000 boost to their wedding budget, provided that the bride willingly gives up all control and allows her fiancé to do all the planning.  Now I know there are at least a few women on Earth that would gladly not have to deal with wedding planning, but none of them appear on this show.  The producers seem to be able to find the most lame-brained, stereotypical doofus males in Canada to do this, including one whose love of soccer made him think that holding their reception in the middle of a soccer pitch was actually a good idea.

The other, In-Law Wedding Wars, is far more offensive.  Most new couples inevitably find themselves in the middle of a tug-a-war between their families as they all learn to live together.  This show vaults it into a cruel whirlpool of guilt, pitting the couple’s mothers against each other, competing to see who gets to plan their child’s big day.  And then to add insult to injury, the losing mother gets to be the winning mother’s assistant.  Needless to say, tension, irritability and truly inspired craziness soon follows.

I don’t watch a lot of reality TV, but I understand the basic concept – find people who will push the audience’s buttons, who will irritate or create sympathy or even all-out hatred from those watching at home, and ultimately who will cause people to talk, tell their friends about the show and inevitably tune in for the next episode.  But the pool of just plain dumb that’s being tapped into year after year is truly staggering.

As put so smartly by Fred Flintstone – it makes me want to turn in my running pants and get out of the human race.

The Vancouver Riots, 2011 (aka What The Hell is Wrong with People???)

I’ve never been to a riot before.  And I didn’t intend to go to one last night.

I went to a downtown restaurant to watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final.  As an Oilers fan, I had no real heartfelt stake in what was going on, but wanted to cheer on the team for my adopted home as they tried to win their first championship in franchise history.  The game itself was a heartbreaker, but maybe not entire unexpected, considering how a 2-0 series lead devolved into a 3-3 tie that forced a Game 7.  And afterwards, my friends wanted to check out Granville Street to see what was happening. 

Now I had been down to Granville after the Canucks won Game 5, and have video of a lot of jubilant people cheering and high-fiving and generally behaving themselves.  And we had all seen the ghost town that downtown became every night they lost.  Expecting a ghost town, here is what I saw:

• Not only a fight, but also a large crowd that flowed around it as it moved
• People tearing down the five-ish year old trees that line Granville Street
• People cheering on the young man (dressed in a Canadian flag) who climbed one of the light standards, and then chanting at him to destroy the light
• Young guys stomping on top of overturned cars
• More young guys, dressed in Canucks jerseys, smashing the shit out of a luxury car parked on the street
• One of those jersey guys had somehow managed to get hold of a crowd control barrier, then threw it off the top of the car at somebody which not only started another fight, but had the crowd fleeing in fear of being caught up in whatever came next

And this was all within 30 MINUTES of the game ending.  Needless to say, we immediately left when we saw how quickly things were devolving.

The police are saying that this was instigated by anarchists who came down to the area specifically armed with masks and incendiary devices and who were generally aiming to create as much chaos as possible.  That may very well be.  But there is NO EXCUSE for the thousands of (mostly) young men who decided to descend into mob mentality and destroy and steal other peoples’ property!!

I don’t know if the cops were as effective as they could have been, but I sure as hell know that they were outnumbered.  As we were trying to get out, we would see groups of a dozen or so at various intersections just trying to deal with what they could see, and I don’t blame them one bit for not diving headlong into any situation where they could be hurt.  The fact that there were only nine police injuries is a miracle.

I am ashamed for this city.  I am embarrassed that I call it my home.  I am shocked and horrified that people I saw in the crowd who were carrying a beer bong were later filmed jumping on top of an overturned car.  There are no words to describe just how I feel about this.  I didn’t have a lot of faith in people before this, and I sure as hell don’t have any in them now. 

Laughter Really is the Best Medicine

Check out what happens when this little boy's dad tears up a job rejection letter.

Young and Hip Oscars?

Okay, so going in, everybody with a microphone kept talking about how hiring James Franco and Anne Hathaway to host this year's Oscars was an attempt to make it hip and cool and appealing to the younger crowd.  A for effort, but a D for execution.  It looked like it was the writers and director that were young, glaring of a show written by people with no experience writing shows at all.

Case in point, the little historical vignettes.  Nice idea, but having 5 to 10 seconds of dead, orchestra-covered air while some video cue is playing is not going to win you any fans.  The whole thing seemed stilted and forced, and most (but not all) of the truly funny and spontaneous moments came from those who were off script.

• Kirk Douglas.  The man is 94 years old - he can say whatever the hell he wants and take as long as he wants.  And he was loving every second of it.

• His exchange with Melissa Leo when he gave her her award.  "Pinch me!"  "Mine?"  "What are you doing later on?"

• Melissa Leo dropping an F-bomb on live, worldwide TV. Sadly, the prudish American networks were running on a time delay, and only the rest of us got to see an uncensored, truly historic Oscar moment.

• James Franco dressed as Marilyn Monroe.  It's sad to say, but he had better looking breasts in that dress than a lot of the women there did. 

• Colin Firth threatening to well up into interpretive dance.

It wasn't an unpleasant visit to Hollywood, but certainly a boring one.  I had a better time sitting for two hours, waiting in line to see The Tonight Show.  I'll be the first to admit I don't know what the answer is to a bigger and better show, but with this many people on the case, they've got to be able to figure something out before they become completely redundant.

Because 4-Year-Olds Apparently Need Legal Guidance

Every once in a while, a good commercial will break through the drone of sex-fuelled advertising to get my attention.  Nissan has just put up a great one.



It's fresh, it's different, and it's just like so many little boys out there playing with their toy cars.  I genuinely like it.  But here's my issue with it.

No, no - THIS is my problem with it:

Now I know it's a rule that you have to legislate for the dumb, to ensure you won't get sued because somebody with nothing better to do tried to duplicate your stunt.  But what 4-year-old boy that you know would take the time to read, think about and then follow the advice being given to him on the screen?

We live in an overly-cautious world - but for god's sake, can't we use our brains?  I am so sick to death of seeing "Dramatization.  Do not attempt" on commercials that are trying to be fun, witty and to actually appeal to some people's intellect instead of waving breasts or fast cars or dunce husbands in our faces.  Every time I see one of those warnings, I want to scream "YES!  PLEASE DO IT!  HELP THIN OUT THE GENE POOL A BIT!!"

Or is it just me?

Alright, I Am Frustrated

I try to stay positive about looking for work as an actor, because I know full well what I’m up against as someone who isn’t a Size 0.  But today a conversation with my agent threw me for a bit of a loop.  She told me that she wasn’t able to submit me for anything lately, even though there’s quite a bit of work these days, because the pilots that are being cast are pretty much looking for the same small group of actors they always are.

I’m not saying that every casting director in the world should run out and cast fat people for every production.  Hell, I wouldn’t do that when casting my own projects.  I did an interview for a national entertainment show a few years back when they did a spot on plus-size actors, and they asked me why it’s so hard for larger actors (especially women) to find work.  And I still have the same answer that I did then.  People want to see fantasy in their day-to-day TV and film viewing.  Why else would we have high-end soaps like Gossip Girl and Desperate Housewives?  I personally like shows that have characters that are much closer to real life, but those shows don’t tend to last long.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be an actor any less.  So why do I keep doing this to myself?

Because for me, acting is the most incredible experience.  There’s something electrifying about crawling inside a character and bringing them to life, feeling all their drama and emotion, and then letting it all fly away when you’re done.  Sometimes it can be an exploration of the human experience.  Other times, it’s just silly and it makes you laugh until you pee yourself.

Either way, it’s not something that I’m about to give up on again.